Oh, the marvels of logical road signs! The photo on the right is our rental car that we used during our recent trip to the UK. It is a very nice Diesel VW Golf that we picked up at the Manchester Airport. The rental company had a very nice comedian running the desk who suggested that we’d enjoy an upgrade of a Hyundai Tuscan. This joke was met, as you might imagine, with a great deal of hilarity. For those of you who are not aware, the Tuscan is actually wider than many roads in Great Britain, and while in the US such a thing is pretty cool, in the UK it is plumb stupid. Maybe not for the locals, as they know how to drive on those roads, but for a tourist from the US it is akin to suggesting that hitting your head with a mallet is a way to get rid of headaches.
Having previous experience with driving in Ye Olde Countrye we avoided the barrage of further comedy and talked the rental agent “down” to the car we actually reserved, which was, more or less, the Golf you see here. It was a very good idea. The M roads, which are pretty much the same as a US freeway, and fine. The A roads are OK, too. Some A roads are a tad narrow, but survivable. However, the B roads, well, let’s not talk about them.
What we should mention, for those of you considering driving “over there” is their sign methodology. Make sure you get a booklet or cheat sheet of UK signs. It is the only way to survive. The problem is not the warning and advisory signs. Those are pretty easy to figure out as the signs in the US are pretty close to the international signage we might find anywhere. But, the directional signs in the UK are a bit, peculiar, at least by our standards.
Let’s face it, if you see a big green sign that says “Schenectady” with a big arrow pointing off to one side you can pretty much figure that if you go in the direction of the arrow you will end up in Schenectady. Not a problem. UK signs are not that obvious. Directional signs are, apparently white with a great deal of text on them. Some of the text are clearly names of locations. Other text indicates highway numbers. Some numbers are in green boxes, others are not. There are arrows, but I think they are decorative.
If you learned to drive in the UK I am pretty sure you would have no problems. But, as tourists from the US, you had better bring your own signage translator. You might think you are taking the A26 to Hampton-On-Flapdoodle but end up on the M1 to Nottingham. My favorite sign dealt with the weakness of GPS. It said, “Do not proceed. Your GPS is wrong.” Now that is funny. For a moment, that is. Then you have to turn around.
Mind you, the driving on the left side of the road is not that big of a deal, or at least that’s the way I see it. It is figuring out the signs.
Now, some people ask about the roundabouts. My advice is don’t worry about it. In Britain they are roundabout professionals. Take your time, don’t panic, and follow the crowd. For the most part, the British engineers are pretty good about cooking up roundabouts. Not true in NY, of course. The “circles of death” that they keep putting in here combined with the amateurs mean that you are taking your life in your hands each time you venture out on the roads. Fact is, if you can survive the idiotic roundabouts in NY you will survive in the UK, and be happier, too.